Stillness in the Wild: An Enso Study
As we cozy up to the cooler weather that Fall brings us, I find myself reflecting on the rollercoaster ride of finding calm in the chaos during the summer of 2022. In this post, I share three key takeaways on how you can stay mindful during a stressful time. You can experience stillness even when you’re overwhelmed. First, let me walk you through the beginning.
June started with a bang when one of my dogs, Skyloh, had a near-fatal mycotoxin poisoning. One minute he was his usual mischievous self and the next, he was convulsing so violently I had trouble keeping him in my arms as I ran into the vet hospital screaming for help. The following 24 hours were a tug-of-war between sheer fear and extreme anxiety versus remaining calm and hopeful. I tugged back and forth from being overcome with worry and guilt to redirecting all of my attention to staying present and adjusting my mindset. I refused to let my mind wander to the what-ifs, nor to the dark places of unresolved past trauma as I found striking familiarity in the fear and uncertainty I felt. Thankfully, Skyloh survived and came home the next day. That night, I laid in bed with both of my dogs by my side - Skia on my left and Skyloh on my right. My hands rested on them as I felt their bellies rise and fall, up and down. A simple yet underrated epiphany came to me then: our breath is vital, powerful and comforting.
Return to breath.
I made an interesting observation from this harrowing experience: I somehow managed to remain surprisingly calm given the gravity of the situation. Don’t get me wrong, I was worried sick. The pit in my stomach made me nauseous and I felt my throat tighten on and off during the entire ordeal. My nervous system was overloaded and my body was bathing in the biochemistry of stress. Practising mindfulness alleviated the tension and kept me grounded. Every time I felt like I was spiraling out of control, I paused for a moment, repeated “Return to breath”, and took 3 deep, slow breaths.
“Return to breath” became my new mantra. Breathwork trains your mind to wander less and pay attention to the present moment. When you’re in a pause, you bring awareness towards what’s actually happening right now and gain a clearer perspective. It doesn’t leave room for you to go back into the past, nor fast forward to the future. A pause grounds you to the here and now. Try it out for yourself. Pause for a moment and simply breathe, then take 2-3 deep breaths, slowly and consciously. This helps to even out a ragged breath and slow down your heartbeat. It's a simple and effective exercise that you can practise anytime, anywhere. As I like to say, deep breaths are quick mindfulness check-ins.
Nature always heals.
The rest of my summer continued to keep me on my toes. A leak that resulted in tearing part of the basement to its bare bones and a new heat pump that broke, due to multiple power outages in my neighborhood, are just two of the many unexpected surprises I encountered. I felt my peace slipping away as I became more overwhelmed. Along with my new mantra “Return to breath”, I turned to nature for solace. Immersing yourself in nature does wonders for the soul. Take a walk, go on a hike, breathe in some fresh air, tend to your plants. Even a short walk around the block is grounding. Feel nature’s peace and let it flow into you. This quote says it all:
“I go to nature to be soothed, healed and have my senses put in order.” - John Burroughs
PRO TIP: Breathwork and nature make a wonderful pair. Practise mindful breathing at the same time.
Make friends with the unknown.
When things felt a little too chaotic for my usual mindfulness rituals to work, I switched things up… which brings me to my third tip: try something new and have fun! Stepping outside of your comfort zone when things are stressful doesn't always sound like a good idea - I know, you've got enough on your hands as it is - but hear me out. From a mindful perspective, you’re welcoming change and growth when you do something different that rejuvenates you. Keep it simple and enjoy.
At home, I took on baking as a hobby and it became my new outlet for stress. Who knew kneading dough could be relaxing! In the studio, I played around with new colors, tools and techniques. This gave me an opportunity to explore, ultimately tapping into a creativity that I would otherwise not have discovered. Making friends with the unknown may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a great way to cultivate curiosity and play. It also promotes a kindness to yourself. When you lead by intention, rather than by results, you take the pressure and judgement off. You’re in it for the process, the journey, rather than the end goal. You have a friendlier attitude towards yourself, which is an essential mindset to have when practising mindfulness.
With the intent to simply enjoy making art, my enso studies were an intuitive exploration, deliberately messy as a means to channel stress. I wanted a wabi-sabi vibe to my paintings with a touch of edgy sophistication. Without a specific vision in mind, I trusted the process that I’d eventually find a breakthrough… and I did. A mini enso, drawn on scrap canvas paper as a test for color and technique, served as a creative inspiration for my enso studies. It opened the door to new possibilities for my art practice. Echoing all the lessons I’ve learned about practising mindfulness during a stressful time, my ensoscapes shaped themselves into a nature-inspired collection:
Stillness in the Wild: An Enso Study
Inspired by the healing powers of Mother Nature, this collection studies the delicate balance between anxiety and quietude. Stress and anxiety can take their toll. You can stand boldly against these destabilizing emotions by learning to calm your mind and steady your attention to your breath first. It’s about finding your center by returning to your breath, soothing your soul by seeking wisdom in nature, and embracing uncertainty with kindness and friendliness.
Despite a tumultuous summer, I can look back and reminisce on moments of joy and gratitude. The season ended with good company, good food and good vibes all around. Skyloh made a full recovery and celebrated his first birthday with a superb hike and beach day at a national park. I watched Skia and my 8 year-old nephew, who was visiting from Greece, dig in wet sand to their hearts’ content while Skyloh experienced the beach for the first time, running around, happily chomping at flying sand. Though stress and anxiety lingered in the back, it was one of the best moments from this summer.
That’s the essence of this new collection: finding stillness in the wild, in the chaos, and in the overwhelmingness. It’s about finding moments of stillness, joy and gratitude in times of difficulty. I leave you with a quote that inspired the name of this collection:
“Nature can bring you to stillness, that is its gift to you.” - Eckhart Tolle
